Irrationally Mad!

This is going to be stupid so bare with me until the end please. I went through the stuff that they didn't take at the consignment shop and they ended up taking a jacket that goes to an outfit that is so cute! They didn't take the pants or the shirt, just the little quilted jacket. I got so up set over that. I was sitting in my bedroom floor crying over a jacket. My husband thinks I'm being stupid and I should let it go, but I want them to either take the rest of the outfit or give the jacket back. I know irrational. I was so upset that I couldn't sleep. So I got up did the dishes, 2 loads of laundry, swept and moped the floor in the kitchen. As I'm moping I am thinking and you know how your mind goes from one thing to the next. "I love Reese Witherspoon's haircut it's so cute, her kids are my kids age, she did a movie in Memphis, Reese's kids always looks so cute in the Trash Mags, Lydia would look so cute in some of those outfits, Man my floor is dirty, glad I'm getting ready for the party now" And that's where it hit me!!! My baby is going to be 1! I am so sad over this I can't even put the emotions into words. I'm sitting here welling up with tears now over just typing this. She is THE baby for me. NO MORE!! I will have NO more children. I am so upset over this and over the fact that after doing all I could do to keep this year from flying by it has! I have NEVER said "Oh I can't wait until she can....." Because I knew from the other two it will come when it's supposed to and rushing it only makes life seem like it's moving faster. But this time it seems to have gone even quicker?? Another thing that really has me upset is that because my baby was a preemie and had RSV and was sick all winter, my grandma never got to see her. I never got to hear her say "I'll tell ya something Tamar that baby will......When she wants to" Or to fuss at me because she wasn't wearing a onesies under her clothes. I know I wasn't there at lot in the end, but man I sure miss my grandma! She was so special to me. I feel like I'm in emotional over drive today. There are a million more things that have me upset but these are the biggies. God I hope I don't sound like my mom all crazy and whatnot! But I'm sure I do, because after all who are we without the women who shape us?